On my usual and routine hour long drive to work yesterday morning I was struck by the brilliance of the moon--as well as the thought above.
Along my road to emotional recovery there have been many times where I have wanted to dig my heels into the mud and exclaim, "This shit ain't fair, and somebody out there owes me." But as I continued along my journey I eventually pulled my wet emotional diapers off, and learned to accept that the world didn't owe me anything.
Although learning to let go of blaming others for why I felt so crappy was not an easy thing to do, in hindsight it was the most crucial step of my recovery. Standing in defiance of self reliance--never works out. Health is not possible without self responsibility as well as self accountability.
It still amazes me to ponder the reality that the idea of self accountability includes every little freakin' thought that passes through the space between our ears. It is not enough to only be concerned with what we say and what we do. Emotional healing that leads to a life lived with integrity--requires one to monitor all that is us--and that includes the silent self talk we ourselves sometimes don't even hear.
When I was a little girl absorbing the oddities of the place I learned to call home--I did not know then that both of my parents were zombies who had been corrupted by the disease of alcoholism. I did not know that my parents souls had been hijacked and that their brains computer had been struck with a virus. All I knew was--I craved their affection, their touch, their smiles, their attention--and their validation--but--it never came.
As a child of ACOA's--I learned to believe that the gap between my zombie like parents and I was my fault. This one hunch--derailed what should have been a joyful life experience. But I--like so many children raised by the unaware and self absorbed--absorbed the disconnectedness between my parents and I like dry sand sucks in the rain.
PUSH THE FAST FORWARD BUTTON and today I am a Life Coach who specializes in ACOA recovery. In truth--I feel like a warrior whose mission it is to fight for the souls of others who have been wounded as I have.
It was a miraculous and tearful day the moment I learned to push past the gossamers veil my dysfunctional childhood webbed before my souls eyes--the one that prevented me from knowing my (your) ultimate truth.
I was always ENOUGH.
In terms of a quantum reality--I am as significant as the glowing moon in the sky--and as equal to a slimy slug. There is nothing that is, that is more important or more valuable than anything else that also is. At the point of the Big Bang--in theory anyway--I already was....and so were you.
What has happened to us emotionally is irrelevant in that --no matter what label we choose to wear, black, white, Asian, Hispanic, Indian, Jew, ACOA or ADHD--the quantum reality is--whatever we are--we are all equal seeds of God/Creator/Source/Spirit--and therefore we are ENOUGH.
Now, what we do with that quantum reality--is up to us. At this part in our personal journeys we get to invoke our free will to 'choose' what thoughts to think--empowering or disempowering--to be or not to be....
A life lived without integrity--is a life not lived.