Thursday, February 26, 2015

Narcissism and Codependency-A Hand in a Glove

What many people do not realize is that when you are emotionally abused as a child, patterns of relating to others--as well as to self are impacted in negative ways.

If you were emotionally abused as a child and treated with indifference, then you have been programmed to see self as a victim.  The psychological term for this is called 'learned helplessness.'

Unfortunately those of us who were abused, tend to attract narcissistic type personalities.

It seems we emotionally abused children attract partners later on in life who fail to have the capacity to have empathy and or compassion for others.  As adults we attract similar energy beings to our parents, as if we are seeking a matching glove to our childhood experiences.

Research with powerless dogs has indicated that when a being feels powerless to escape cruelty, the being will eventually 'give up' believing escape is possible.  When this happens a mental switch is turned off, that disengages the mind from ever believing that choice is possible.

A child who has been emotionally tortured by the adults in his/her life, may not recall the actual events of the abuse.  However, locked within the invisible halls of the beings mind will be this sense that he/she is without the ability to choose unhealthy circumstances.

Domestically abused women often times stay with their abusers, but are also many times more likely to have witnessed domestic violence at home.  If daughters witness their mothers tolerating domestic abuse, then learned helplessness is actually an emotional/mental disposition that has been programmed into the innocent being observing the relationship between her mother and father.

The Goal

The goal in recovery is to help teach our minds that choice is always a possibility and it is only when we refuse to think outside the box our parents and abusive partners, family, and friends attempt to keep us in that we posture self like a victim, refusing to consider any possible choice that we fail to move forward.


There are innumerable mental and emotional hurdles one must learn to overcome on the road to recovery, and the more difficult those hurdles, the sweeter the eventual view of the divine, magnificent, immortal Self.

Tele Class March 7th-April 8th  9-11 am EST

If you are interested in taking part in my upcoming tele class, which addresses the 12 most significant challenges of being an ACoA and the 12 keys to our recovery, you may register for that class to the right of this post.


You are enough.  You have searched long enough.  You have suffered enough.  All that is within you is enough.

Namaste Dear Ones,

Lisa A. Romano
ACoA Recovery Life Coach/Author

Saturday, January 17, 2015

Adult Children of Alcoholics-Breaking The Cycles of Dysfunction

If you are an Adult Child of an Alcoholic-you know how painful breaking the cycles of dysfunction can be. You know the guilt that comes when we see, feel and hear ourselves making the same mistakes in our lives, as our parents did in theirs.

Taking part in this upcoming Tele Class will not be like an Al Anon or a CODA meeting.

You will be coached by Lisa A. Romano for ten full hours and learn how to specifically confront and change your subconscious programming.

You will be surrounded by other Anonymous ACoA's who are as committed to finally healing and moving beyond the ACoA label as you are.

Please join us from March 7th to April 5th from 9 am-11 am EST (2015) on a conference call.

Plan on taking notes--recording the lessons--and learning more than you could ever imagined.

Expect for your awareness to be blown open and for your life to change!

Monday, January 5, 2015

Tele Class for Adult Children of Alcoholics 3/7/15-4/4/15 Reserve Your Spot Dear Ones!

Namaste Dear Ones!

 I 'see' YOU, I 'hear' YOU, and I can 'feel' you!

If you are the adult child of an alcoholic, or if you are the adult child of a narcissist, of if you are unsure of your parent's emotional issue, and you believe you have been raised by dysfunctional beings, know that YOU ARE NOT ALONE.

However, I know--you may absolutely 'feel and believe' you are alone.

Dear One, the key to healing is found in the very aspects of our selves that we have been conditioned, programmed and brainwashed to deny, suppress, repress and be ashamed of.


We have absorbed our parents negative, dark energies.


Through the law of vibration and through consistent mirroring of dysfunction--we have been pulled out of alignment with our very core--which is divinely positive and abundant.

Now what?

All is not lost Dear One.  Learning the keys to recovery is all it takes to begin learning how to become more in alignment with your core nature.

In this tele class we will be tackling the very core issues that have kept us bound for so long.

This class will run for 5 consecutive weeks, from 9 a.m. EST to 11 a.m. EST on Saturday mornings beginning March 7th, 2015 and ending April 4th, 2015.

If you are seriously interested in taking part in this class, I can only accommodate 9 students at a time, as I need to ensure that ALL who attend get the opportunity to be heard.


You may secure your spot by following the Paypal instructions on the right page of this blog.

Namaste and I look forward to helping you transcend the energies that have been holding you back for so long, for the purpose of your true integration and ascension to higher vibrational realities.


Sunday, January 4, 2015

Adult Children--How Our Pain Helps Us Transcend to Higher Vibrations 01/10 by Lisa A Romano ACoA Life Coach | Relationships Podcasts

Saturday January 10th, 2015 at 6:30 p.m. EST, broadcasting live with questions and answers from callers, Lisa A. Romano.

If you are the adult child of an alcoholic, or narcissist; if you have grown up feeling like you were never enough; if you fear your feelings--or have been taught that what you think does not matter--please consider calling in to ask Lisa any personal questions you might have.

This will be a live broadcast, and all are welcome to listen and call in.


We Are One!

Please Share Dear Ones!

Adult Children--How Our Pain Helps Us Transcend to Higher Vibrations 01/10 by Lisa A Romano ACoA Life Coach | Relationships Podcasts

Tuesday, December 30, 2014

Adult Children of Alcoholics-Why Staying For The Kids Is A Big Mistake

Adult Children of Alcoholics-What It Will Take For You To Really Recover

Dear Ones, knowing HOW to recover will require you to know the WHAT is wrong first.

If you are under the impression that your feelings are all there is to what is happening in your life, and if you are purely going by how you feel--you may be confusing what you feel with what is going on within you on a quantum level.

Yes, your feelings are the indicators.  But sometimes we ACOA's confuse pity with love, or we confuse the fear of being alone, with a mashed potato like experience of feeling or thinking we should stay in relationships.

If you are in codependent relationships--you must first learn to DETACH.


1.) Research Detachment

Getting a clear understanding of what the hell detachment is--will help you gain a conceptual idea of what is wrong as well as what it means to actually be able to detach.  Yes Dear Ones--Knowledge is power--so get on it!

2.)  Meditation

You will hear me say over and over again, that a whacky mind that is full of B/S which is nothing but recycled mental chatter--that is the result of a survival like existence--is NOT going to help you recover.  BUT quieting the mind--dropping the mind--and creating some peace and calm within the chambers of the mind will.

3.)  Psychic Vibrational Blocking

We all share quantum entanglements with others.  It is impossible not to as we are all vibratory beings.  So--if mom is a narcissist--you must block yourself from her energy.


By shielding yourself energetically with sage or by mentally commanding your brain to block her psychic energetic attacks--you literally shield yourself with protective energy.  Sound whacky? Yeah I know, but it works.

4.)  Cut The Chords

Again, because this is a vibratory universe, and because the electrons on our Atoms (our Adam) are constantly jumping, trading, absorbing, and exchanging with other energy beings (other Adams) in our experience, YOU must take control over who you share quantum space with.

If you are engaging in gossip--that is aimed at hurting someone else's reputation--uh oh--guess what kiddo? YOU have aligned yourself with the energy that is negative, harming, shaming, and mean spirited.  So, do not be surprised if you experience some negative, harming, shaming and mean experience some moment very soon.


5.) Take Inventory of Your Fears

By taking an honest inventory of your fears, you will then have created a Road Map out of the swamp that is keeping you stuck.


When you are afraid of being alone, and you know that you are afraid of being alone, you also know that you stay in relationships that suck simply because you're afraid of being alone.  

Now what?

If you know you want to be happy, but you know you stay in crappy relationships because you're afraid of being alone--then by FACING THE FEAR OF BEING ALONE you erase your need for staying stuck in crappy relationships!

Whoop Whoop!

If you do not face the fear of being alone, then what? Sure, like most people you'll blame your partner, and say things like, "He doesn't listen to me.  He lies to me. He makes me feel like sh**." 

But imagine if, instead of making excuses for why you cannot be happy--you made a list of all the fears, and then went down the list and began taking action steps to alleviate the fear?



I love You All, 


Monday, December 29, 2014

Adult Children of Alcoholics--Learning How To Spot The Bullsh**

Any adult child of an alcoholic has heard, watched and believed enough B/S to last a lifetime.  From excuses like, "I am not drunk.  I just haven't had enough sleep lately," to "Your father isn't drunk. He's just really tired from working so hard" to a plethora of other comments, we children from denial based homes have the ability to spot a lie from one thousand yards.

On a vibrational level we knew when we were being lied to when we were four, and when someone is trying to bullsh** us now, we know it too. But the problem we adult children of alcoholics have is, we do not have the skills that allow us to deal with the lies, and the bullsh** appropriately.  Many of us know we are being lied to, or deceived, but we do not know what to do about it when it is happening in the moment.

Here are a few tips I would like to share with you to help you be able to more readily take care of your inner self when you become aware that you are being abused by a liar who is essentially trying to emotionally manipulate your perception of your reality.

1.) Honor Your Gut Instincts

The next time your divine spiritual gut begins to stir in the pit of your Chakra System, honor it.  Just say to yourself, "Hmm...thank you divine self for nudging me into the awareness that this person is trying to deceive me.  Thank you for nudging me into a more awakened and heightened sense of awareness. Hmm...Thank you for allowing me the time to reflect so that I can place a boundary and be able to more readily tune into what they are trying not to say, rather than what they are trying to manipulate me into believing.

2.) Increase The Space Between You and The Manipulator

The next time your vibrational being begins to buzz so frantically that your internal vibrational gut is beginning to churn like a meat grinder--deliberately disengage from the liars position in space.  Deliberately take a step back or turn to your side to break the vibrational connection the other person is trying to control between the two of you.  By deliberately taking a physical action that symbolizes your desire to break any quantum entanglements you absolutely hinder and sometimes even block the other persons ability to hijack your quantum being.  Disengaging on a quantum level, is enhanced by you taking control over your physical vibrational being by sidestepping the manipulator.

3.) Lock Your Eyes On Theirs

The next time your vibrational being signals to you that you are being lied to, lock your eyes on theirs. Regardless of how the manipulator looks down, to the side, and around, keep your gaze on theirs. If the manipulator looks down, keep your eyes fixed until the manipulator looks up again.  If the manipulator looks to the side, have your eyes fixed and ready to begin the stare again.  Stay firm in your stance.  Try not to move, except to the side or to step back, all the while making it clear that you are in control of what information you are allowing to flow into your mind.  When you make it clear that you are seeking clarity and that you are not afraid of what information is being revealed as well as not revealed, the energetic manipulator will begin to feel uncomfortable as the manipulation they are trying to send your way--is being repelled back into their energetic and vibrational space.  When you repel their energy, they are unable to feed off of the energy that arises when they feel like they have confidently been able to deceive you.  This incomplete dysfunctional energy loop will leave them feeling totally out of whack and out of sync.

4.) Rebuke The Information

When you have become aware that you have been lied to, deliberately say out loud, "I rebuke that information." By doing so you command your brain to delete any information the emotional/vibrational manipulator tried to program into your consciousness.  By taking control over what information you allow to get inputed as data into your computer brain--you successfully learn how to own your own being.  Overtime you will become the human lie detector you were born to be, and your trust in self will rise.

Essentially we adult children of alcoholics have spent a lifetime of being fed other people's negative bullish**.  Because we have been taught to ignore what we feel, or because we have been ashamed of what we feel, we tend to attract people into our realities that are designed to deceive us, and feed us loads of nonsense.  By arming ourselves deliberately, and by owning our own ability to use our divine instincts as the indicators and guidance systems they were designed to be, we finally learn how to take back control over our own vibrational beings.

In honor of all vibrationally deceived beings out there, past and present--this article is for you!


Lisa A. Romano
Coach For Life